Vampires

This week’s discussion is on vampires. I really have nothing funny or interesting to tell you besides that. I suppose I could’ve let Emma do the introduction this week, but I really just didn’t want to. Oh well, too late now.

rpatz4life asks: Do you think Eclipse is going to be better than New Moon? I think that nothing can beat the original Twilight, though.

Dean: How did this already become a discussion about Twilight? You say the word “vampire” nowadays and people have the impression that it’s interchangeable with “Twilight” or anything Twilight-related. Let’s talk about Dracula instead. Lord, I would settle for Van Helsing.

mcr_fan writes: I was in Chapters the other day and 90% of the books they have display for the “teen fiction” section are about vampires. What’s up with that?

Emma: I blame Robert Pattinson. Make him four shades paler than he actually is (which is hard to do because he’s British), give him an American accent, and put creepy light brown contacts in his eyes and tween girls everywhere swoon in their seats. Throw in some incredibly sappy lines about “perfect” love and their moms swoon too.

true_blood asks: Can you actually kill a vampire with a steak to the heart?

Dean: I’m sure that if you fed a vampire an excessive amount of red meat, over time, they would develop some sort of heart failure and eventually die. They’d also never get iron anemia. However, drive a stake through their heart and they’ll keel over in no time.

vampire_slayer asks: Does garlic actually keep vampires away? How does that even work?

Emma: Yes, it actually works. Have you ever seen a vampire in Italy? That’s why. And I have no idea why it works. Who do you think I am? Bill Nye the science guy?

jilly_bean writes: That girl who played Buffy the Vampire Slayer was a really bad actress. Melissa Joan Heart or whatever.

Dean: No, Melissa Joan Heart was Sabrina the Teenage Witch. It’s a similar genre of television show, I know, but Sabrina is much more upbeat than Buffy was. More of a comedy, if you will. And yes, she wasn’t a very good actress, was she? But that’s to be expected I think. It was a science-fiction teen drama about killing vampires. In the nineties. Not a promising combination.

Edward_Cullen_is_awesome asks: Is no one going to address how hot Robert Pattinson is? He is so good-looking!

Emma: Meh. He’s alright. He’s really only “so good-looking” from certain angles. If you catch him full on, he’s not so good-looking. You know who is really good-looking? James Franco.

Jacobblack4eva writes: TEAM JACOB!!!!!

Dean: Seriously? More Twilight? I just want to live my life with a little less Taylor Lautner? Is that such a bad thing?

Got questions that pertain to Twilight? E-mail us at deanandemmapluscrew@gmail.com. next week’s topic is leotards.