Leotards

Last week, mariah_lovely wrote in and gave us a great idea. So, from now on, we will be posting suggested music to listen to while reading the discussion. Good call. Also, today, I will be teaming up with my next-door neighbour of fourteen years. She’s a ballerina, so I figured she would know a fair bit more about leotards than I do. Emma keeps telling me I’m a weenie, but I think I better do this, lest we recreate another incident like the “hair extensions” post. Also, she always calls me a weenie, so what else is new?

Suggested music: Single Ladies - Beyoncé

dean_is_a_hottie asks: What’s the difference between a leotard and a unitard?

Dean: I have no idea. Fiona?

Fiona: Leotards are just like bodysuits, but unitards are kind of a whole body dealio. They go from wrists to ankles, usually. Nothing special, really. My dad combines all of them into one word and makes a kind of “bodytard” hybrid.

kool_cat asks: Who even came up with the leotard? And why? It seems pointless.

Emma: I actually know the answer to this question because I did a French project on this guy once. Don’t ask, my French teacher’s a sadist. Jules Léotard invented the leotard, hence its name. He developed the leotard because he was an acrobat and they wear spandex-esque clothing. He also invented the trapeze, so I guess we have him to thank for this super fit, acrobatic type people you see at the circus. You know, when you’re not being horrified by the clowns.

Pretty_Princess writes: They sell bodysuits at American Apparel. Like people actually wear those.

Dean: Well, I suppose it’s not a totally useless product to sell. I mean, dancers and gymnasts probably own a lot of bodysuits.

Fiona: No, she’s right. Who buys a bodysuit that they’re not going to use for some sort of physical activity? Plus, a lot of them are made of mesh and/or lace. And don’t have full bums. Why is that necessary?

hottie_with_a_body asks: Can I date Emma? Or is she with Dean? He seems lame. She could do better. I’m better.

Emma: Flattering. And good Lord. No, I am not dating Dean. And yes, he’s a little lame, but I probably won’t ever date you either. I know, it’ll hard to get over me, but I’m sure you’ll manage.

dean_is_a_hottie writes: While we’re on the topic, can I date Dean? And he is not lame. He’s super cool. And cute.

Dean: I’m blushing.

Fiona: He’s not lying. He really is.

redwarrior writes: You are SO LAME. Why do you still have this stupid website?

Emma: Oh God, how’d you get back in here? Dean! We need to screen better! Crap has slipped through the cracks again. Also, he’s reverted to using caps lock again.

lil_dilemma writes: I’m thinking of buying a leotard to wear under skirts. Should I get the solid black one or the leopard print one with a scoop back?

Dean: Uh…

Fiona: I strongly suggest that you buy neither. Plus, they probably don’t have full bums. Are you prepared for that?

cutie_pie asks: Could you use a leotard as a swimsuit?

Emma: Yes, but you could also wrap yourself in cellophane and call that a swimsuit, so I think it’s a moot point.

Emma has now stopped making sense, so I’m going to stop it here. A big thanks to my friend Fiona!

Questions? E-mail us at deanandemmapluscrew@gmail.com. The next topic is ponchos.