Alright, so you may have noticed that Nina_B has been writing to us a lot of late. This is wonderful. To reward her commitment to our amazing website, we have asked her to join us as a guest host. So please welcome my new friend Nina (she says hi). This time we are talking about Beyoncé.
Suggested music: Bootylicious – Destiny’s Child
Penny13 asks: What really happened between Jay-Z and Rhianna that sparked the song “Ring the Alarm”, which was really not that popular?
Dean: I’m choosing to ignore the first part of your question and I’m going to respond to the last part instead. “Ring the Alarm” was really not that popular because she seemed to have fired her choreographer and her dancing was frightening.
Nina: Considering Jay-Z’s song “99 Problems”, it would be really foolish of him to be a cheater. On the other hand, Rhianna is 6 feet tall and incredibly terrifying. She could take Jay-Z and Beyoncé if she really wanted to. So essentially, I don’t know.
princess_twinkle_sparkles asks: Do you think Beyoncé eats ice cream?
Emma: If you were incredibly wealthy, wouldn’t you eat all the ice cream you could? As a matter of fact, I think Beyoncé is a huge fan of ice cream. I also think that the rest of Destiny’s Child ate some of her ice cream. She was very upset and that’s why no one can remember their names anymore. Do not mess with Beyoncé.
Nina: I’m lactose intolerant. But Beyoncé did write a song called “Bootylicious”. Enough said.
dean_is_a_hottie asks: Does Dean think Beyoncé is a hottie? Should I be jealous?
Dean: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Moving a little too fast there, my friend. Secondly, yes. She’s very attractive. I am, however, slightly afraid of her. She seems like an angry diva that would squash me if I stood in her spotlight by accident.
Nina: Oh, dean_is_a_hottie, I always enjoy your questions, but let me assure you, Dean looks very squashable. Not even necessarily by Beyoncé.
Danny_V asks: Whatever happened to the rest of Destiny’s Child? What were their names again?
Emma: I’m telling you, they ate some of Beyoncé’s prized ice cream and she ruined their lives. Do not mess with Beyoncé.
Nina: I believe one is called Kelly Rolland. I may be wrong and I only remember her because she has terrible hair. As for the other one, I hope she’s living quietly and comfortably with all the millions of dollars she made with Destiny’s Child and that she will never try to make a come-back.
Queen_Bee writes: Doesn’t Beyoncé have a younger sister or something? Wasn’t she a singer too?
Dean: Not a very good one.
Nina: Just to clarify, I think Dean is saying she wasn’t a very good singer. He couldn’t possibly know that she’s a bad sister.
Michelle_94 writes: I once saw Beyoncé in real life. I was on a family trip to Miami and she was on a yacht with Jay-Z. I didn’t actually meet her in person, but I saw her from the beach. I bet she smells good.
Emma: That was a little weird…and probably not. If you were that rich, you would smell like money. And money smells like unclean metal and dirty paper bills. It’s probably best that you didn’t meet her in person because you would smell by association. Plus, she’d likely have a restraining order out on you now.
Nina: I once saw Beyoncé in real life too. I was at home and she was on TV. Still real life, though.
Got real life questions for us? E-mail us at deanandemmapluscrew@gmail.com. Next time we’re talking about metaphors (Nina picked it and she’s excited. I am not).
