Silly String

Well, last week’s discussion on nose whistles was a raging success. Lolita_belle wrote in and asked us why we bothered posting the insults that had been e-mailed to us. Well, we posted them because we really didn’t get a huge response and that’s all we technically had to post. I suppose we could have faked some entries, but here at “Emma and Dean’s Guide to Life”, we like to keep things real. I’m not sure why. It would certainly be less painful to my ego if we made some things up. Ah well, Emma says I’m a weenie. Which is also a blow to my ego, so if I can take it in person, I guess I can handle it online. Great.

rpatz4life writes: I once used a whole can of silly string on my neighbour’s cat. It was blue by the time I had finished with it. But my neighbour is a little unhinged so she sued my mom for sexual harassment.

Dean: uh…

dean_is_a_hottie asks: Why does silly string even exist? What do you use it for? Besides torturing people, I mean.

Emma: First of all, I’d like to address your username. You’ve never seen Dean. To you, he’s just a wise internet being. But I have seen him in real life. I see him all the time, in fact. Trust me, you’re wrong. And now on to more important things ie. silly string. There are many practical uses for silly string.
1. Silly string can be used to ward off intruders in the event of a burglary. I’ve never actually tried this, but I’m sure a little silly string to the eye would certainly startle and disorient someone breaking into your house.
2. You can use silly string to decorate your house. A little silly string design on your walls would add a nice touch of colour and flair of fun to any room.
3. I’m sure if you let silly string harden, you could use it a substitute for wool in the event of a knitting emergency.
4. Silly string could plausibly be used to put out a fire (unless it’s made of a flammable substance, in which case, I formally apologize for this potentially life-threatening advice). Grease fire in your frying pan? No problem. Smother those flames with some brightly coloured silly string! Problem solved.
5. Coat your hands in silly string and use it a mitten replacement. This also applies to socks.

redwarrior writes: Dean’s still a dork. And silly string is LAME. Are you like twelve or something?

Dean: Or something. And I think you’re the lame one here. Do you seriously have nothing better to do with your time? Why not take up a hobby? Like knitting with slightly hardened silly string. According to Emma, that’s a practical usage for today’s fun topic (she’s totally wrong, by the way).

jennie_15 asks: What is wrong with redwarrior? Stop being such a mood killer, dude. Silly string is AWESOME!

Emma: I have no response to this comment. I would, however, like to comment on Dean’s comment. You could totally knit with silly string. He’s just hurt because I said he wasn’t a hottie (he’s not. I’m not wrong).

I feel like this discussion has slightly degraded, thanks to my colleague. And she’s wrong. On both accounts. Silly string could not be used for knitting and I am quite attractive.

More insults? E-mail them to us at deanandemmapluscrew@gmail.com. Next week’s topic is sprinklers.