Horrible Gifts

Alright, horrible gifts. You know the ones. Like when your great uncle buys you a can of haggis (they actually make that).

Suggested music: Misery – Maroon Five

dean_is_a_hottie asks: What’s the worst gift Dean has ever gotten?

Dean: Well, one time, my great uncle Howard bought me a can of haggis. I mean, technically it’s the thought that counts and he was senile, but still, what do I want with a can of haggis? It’s non-perishable, actually. I still have it. Anyone want it?

Emma_rocks_my_argyle_socks asks: What’s the worst present Emma has ever gotten?

Emma: Once, I got a cat sweater from my grandma. It had a tail. And it was pink with a frilly collar and sleeves. I burned it later. I’d feel bad if the sweater hadn’t been so incredibly ugly.

Nina_B writes: Let us never forget (or try really hard to?) my friend Stacey who got a vase from her boyfriend for Christmas. It looked like it had innocuously been placed on the set of Inglorious Basterds... it looked quite unfortunately like somebody had been machine gunned down in front of it. That my friends is horrible. She put lollipops in it.

Dean: Mmmm…lollipops…too bad about the vase, though.

Kitty_Bean asks: Have you ever been given hand-knitted, over-sized mittens for a present? My grandma always makes me some for Hanukah, but I never wear them because you could fit four hands in one.

Emma: She must think you have really large hands. Do you? And also, I have been given quite large mittens before. But my friend made them for me. My grandma can’t knit. She just buys really ugly sweaters.

Alvin_Mo asks: Why do people always buy me Chapters gift cards?

Dean: I’m not sure, Alvin. I don’t really know you all that well. Actually, I don’t really know you at all.

bulldog460 asks: What makes a horrible gift so horrible?

Emma: There are a lot of ways to tell if the gift you’ve been given in terrible.

1. Is it covered in cats?

2. Has it been hand-made? I know that some people think that makes the gift more thoughtful and meaningful, but they’re wrong. And likely very cheap. And that is why they made you the macaroni bracelet-necklace set in the first place. Heads up, you’re getting the earrings for Christmas.

3. Do you want/like it? If you don’t, chances are, it’s not a good present.

4. Is it itchy? That’s never good.

All good points.

Got questions? E-mail at us at deanandemmapluscrew@gmail.com. The next topic is cauliflower.